North Korea, Best Korea!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
