Where is the hickey?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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