If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
