i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize