just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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