Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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