it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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