Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
