pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize