You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
