Don't make out with my wife yet
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
