ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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