I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
