i think i have two assholes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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