Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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