my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
