I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
