Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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