Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize