I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
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Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
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Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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