There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
