Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
