Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
