perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
