I CAN MOONWALK!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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