I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize