And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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