Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
