Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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