OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
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You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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