let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I would fuck him just for his dog
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