i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
