I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
