How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
