you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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