There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
