He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You work out of a Hotel?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
