The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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