Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
