it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
