Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize