making cat noises will not fix the situation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
