do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
