TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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