We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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