It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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