Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
