if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize