Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
