Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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