The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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