yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
