you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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