It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
