Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
