she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
