Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize
