so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
