I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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