i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
