I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it's like iHOP with fire
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
