can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
