I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
