I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize