This is not my ceiling
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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