Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
