Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
