I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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