Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
